I began the album Boy Smells in the fall of 2019, sort of as a challenge to myself. 2019 was a strange year following the release of Transition, fraught with many different obstacles, changes and new experiences. By October I surfaced with my own set of questions for myself:
- When did I start censoring myself?
- Why did I start censoring myself?
- What am I so afraid of?
- Who am I keeping safe by not being my authentic self?
- Where do I have the space to be myself?
- How can I change this?
The answers to these questions were multi-fold, and there were no easy ways to hide behind my own hypocritical denial. So, I decided to write an album based on my experiences with being gay. It is not strictly speaking an autobiographical album, but speaks to the gay world of fantasy, sexualization and lack of intimacy that plagues our increasingly separate society. This is probably best described in the song Another Night Another Boy, “Looking for love everywhere / Taking lust without a care / He doesn’t know that you would stay / If he just asked you to”. Of all the songs on Boy Smells, Another Night Another Boy is probably the most autobiographical. I spent many years waiting for what I wanted without giving voice to it.
Writing Boy Smells was a lot of fun for me. It allowed me to look at my experiences with an open lens, rather than contriving what I thought this album should be. This album features a mix of issues, comedy and sexuality that is the most authentic representation of who I am as a whole.
My message to the other gay boys: Be yourself, and you will not need another person to complete you.
- Sing It
- Another Night Another Boy
- Slave Boy
- Boy Smells
- 21st Birthday
- Come Back To Daddy
- Fall Asleep In My Arms