Fictitious News

Donald Trump Targets Tim Hortons

Washington, D.C.

POTUS Donald Trump has once again taken to Twitter to voice his concerns over foreign invaders. This time Trump has his eye on Canada. To make good on his promise, Trump eyes a new border for his wall.

In a recent speech, Donald Trump denounced the expansion of the Tim Hortons franchise into the United States because it represents “Canadian values”. He further went on to assert that “the minute your Mercedes is in the parking lot, you no longer feel like you are in my America. I am working on legislation to fence off this foreign land grab, and create tariffs for these Canadian industries appropriating our soil.”

After a misguided attempt to control Mexico, the world is wondering if Canada is Trump’s next target. To citizens of the United States of America, Canadians are known as the Neighbours to the North. As POTUS redefines what it means to be an “American”, will he continue to draw new caricatures of the other major players of the world?

Rumours are circulating that Trump’s attack on Tim Hortons stems from a lost bid on the franchise when it was recently for sale. Theories state that the bid was lost to Burger King because they did not have rebranding as a part of their conditions. The former wished to rebrand the chain as Trump Hortons.

Representatives from Tim Hortons were not readily available for comment on the matter.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.