I loved the first season of Polyamory: Married and Dating (P:M&D). I watched it several times, and introduced it to Edward before we began our polyamorous journey. I have been in polyamorous relationships in the past, but P:M&D was Edward’s first spotlight onto this different world. It was a great door into a different mindset that I simply didn’t have the words to explain properly.

I had the feeling when watching P:M&D Season 1 that the show was made (if not for poly people) for heterosexual men. I had not expected the amount of nudity and sexual situations that were contained within the season. While this was not a direct issue for me, I found that the reality of female bisexuality was explored thoroughly and absent of male bisexuality. The one reference that I could find was an off-hand remark by Michael to whether Jen was OK with Tahl engaging in anal sex when she was not around. This was not substantiated by who would be doing so, but may have been a reference to this nonetheless. While I found that male bisexuality may not have been encountered by either the Pod or the Triad, a mention of it within the context of their experience may have been a service to the community.

I found that though both the Pod and the Triad shared external polyamorous relationships outside of their standing relationships, that they we constructed very differently. The experience of the Pod coming together after many years as separate couples, (with the accompanying baggage!) seemed less organic to me than that of the Triad. While there is no information given as to how the Pod came together initially, the evolution of their relationship struck a chord as both reflective and sober. The Triad, in contrast, came together through the interworking and reinterpreting of pre-existing relationships that melded into something new.

Our home is something of a step between these two constructs. Charles came to us when Edward and I had been living together for six and a half years. We came together, and like the Triad, something new formed. Our Triad is only eight months old, but is moving along strong. The true test will be when Charles moves in full time before we find a new larger house.

I have yet to embark on Season 2 of P:M&D, for two reasons:

  1. I haven’t been able to find it available in my region yet!
  2. I am disappointed (but understanding) that the Triad was replaced.

I’m looking forward to seeing the Pod again, and to see what new issues may have arisen in their relationship. I do not particularly want them to have issues, but am grateful that I am exposed to these issues before they bubble up in my own home. For example, Edward and I have spent years together merging our lives and friends. Only our closest friends are “in the know” about Charles as of today. Charles has become the P:M&D Vanessa in our triad. Understanding Vanessa’s exclusion from greater family involvement and acknowledgement is a story known by most gays and lesbians. Having this exposure forces me to consider Charles’ feelings whenever I think about family matters. I grew up to believe that whatever I did, as long as I was not interfering with others, was nothing to be ashamed of. It will be difficult for me to conceal the truth when I do not see a point to it.

 

One thought on “Polyamory: Married and Dating

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