First entry.

Well since K8 has been bugging me forever to start a live journal I thought I might as well appease her. Damn she’s a pushy girl.

Not too much is happening here today as Jeremy’s off in California. He left on Tuesday for a two week work excursion. Today he went to Santa Cruz with Scott to hand out for the afternoon, and then was suppose to go home with Scott to Sacramento for the night. Because of my excessive problem with jealousy (which I’m trying to work on), he asked me if it was O.K. that he went, which of course I was fine with. Of course it did cross my mind that he may sleep with Scott and/or his boyfriend while there, but it was only a fleeting though, which I really don’t believe.

Right now I only have $12 and I’m desperately trying to find a pizza from Pizza Pizza that I can order. It is difficult to find anything that will come by delivery for that price. I just tried to order a small pizza with extra cheese and pepperoni, but it was over $13. I just went downstairs and found an extra $11, so all is good. The pizza has been ordered.

It’s 26 degrees in the house, and I feel like I’m going to melt. I wish I could use the central air that came with the house, but as it was not installed properly, turning it on would make a horrible flood in my basement that i’m not really into at the moment. I might try and figure out how to collect the water that comes out tomorrow if the heat keeps up.

On a positive note, I wrote and recorded a song today. For anyone who is interested, here are the lyrics:


Why do I avert my eyes
When I meet someone new
Why do I ask for forgiveness
From nobody
Why do I retaliate
When someone is helping me
Why do I get angry
When things don’t go my way

Why am I so selfish
When I have so much to give
Why do I feel so helpless
When surrounded by love
Why do I feel abandoned
Only when I’ve turned my back
Why can’t I ever let anyone
See the real me


I don’t know why
I don’t know why

Why do I avoid honesty
When there is no need
Why do I hate the mirror
When it’s myself I see
Why should I forget the anger
When I’m still healing
Why don’t I notice
When I achieve the most

Why should I contribute
When everyone’s asking
Why don’t I feel good
When I’m giving in
Why do I assume the answer
Is I am right
Why should I change myself


This song was an interesting addition to the other songs I recorded this week. I’m making up a cd of demos to send to some labels. I don’t think that I am an amazing guitar player or singer, but if they are interested in what they hear, they can invest some training on me and polish everything up. I’m not adverse to selling out at this point, as whatever pays the mortgage is alright with me. Does anyone really think that Avril Lavigne sounds the same live as she does on her cds? It’s all about reverb baby!

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